What Anxiety Looks Like in Moms

Hi there,

When we hear the word “anxiety,” most people picture panic attacks or visible distress.

But for many women and moms anxiety wears a much quieter disguise.

It can look like:

• Saying “yes” when you desperately need to say “no”

• Snapping at your kids—and carrying the guilt all day

• Obsessively managing every small detail

• Preparing for problems that haven’t even happened

• Avoiding rest because slowing down feels almost unsafe

And it can also look like catastrophizing—

spinning through every worst-case scenario as if preparation could protect us.

If you’re anything like me, anxiety can even show up as overprotection.

My 13-year-old daughter (with love, of course) will sometimes gently call me out:

And honestly, I have to laugh… because I taught her the word—and low key, sometimes I regret it!

(But deep down, I’m proud she can recognize it in both of us.)

The truth is:.

Imagining the worst feels like preparation—but more often, it just deepens our exhaustion and fear.

This Week’s Reflection:

Take a soft moment to ask yourself:

Is my anxiety showing up as control, people-pleasing, catastrophizing, or burnout?

What would it feel like to pause before the spiral starts?

You are not broken.

This is your nervous system trying its best to protect you.

And you can gently teach it a new way.

Quick Tool: “Name the Emotion, Calm the Mind”

Research by Dr. Dan Siegel, clinical professor of psychiatry at UCLA and author of The Whole-Brain Child [get the book here] suggests that naming our emotions can help reduce their intensity. It moves us out of survival mode and back into a state of choice.

Next time anxiety rises, try saying:

Small moments of naming—even when uncomfortable—can build powerful habits of emotional regulation.

Many of the families I work with worry that if they name anxiety out loud, it will somehow make it worse.

But the truth is the opposite: Anxiety needs compassionate attention.

Think of anxiety like a smoke detector in your home:

If the alarm is chirping, it’s not something to silence or ignore—it’s a signal asking for attention.

Noticing the feeling doesn’t make it bigger.

It makes you bigger than the feeling.

Want to Stay in the Loop?

I’m quietly working behind the scenes on something special:

A way to help more moms navigate anxiety, overwhelm, and emotional overload—on their own time, at their own pace.

I’ll be sharing more details soon—and you’ll hear about it here first.

For now, just know:

You are already doing the brave, important work of healing.

One breath.

One name.

One choice at a time.

Next Week on On the Mend:

Stress vs. Anxiety vs. Worry — How to Tell the Difference (and What Helps Most)

Get ready to learn how to spot the real need behind each feeling—and what actually soothes it.

With care,

Moya Mathison, LPC, ACS